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About Deviant InuUnited States Group :iconleslit: LesLit
Love, Literature, & Lesbians
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:boing: Newest in the front, oldest in the back...also, some of my stuff may not be kid-safe >.> but. it's got tags and warnings where i saw fit :dummy: have fun. And I love comments :innocent:

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  • Mood: Distracted
  • Listening to: Ed Sheeran's albums
  • Reading: Lumberjanes/ Harley Quinn New 52's
  • Watching: Steven Universe
  • Playing: the sass game
  • Eating: souls of the damned
  • Drinking: water
Dead Week is finals week, which won't be until December. For now, it's undead week. The part of the year where mid terms are upon (some of) us.
I'm not in any freshmen classes, really...except for a writing class I need for my major. Everything else is a regular "test two" and not much of a huge deal.
....For example, I have a spanish test on friday, and a biology test that same morning. And tomorrow? a three page paper and four poems to turn in. I have the poems taken care of, and I have about two pages for the paper without referencing a scholarly article (it's optional, but I'm using it to enhance my opinion and get background info on the author). I'm probably making the paper harder than it is, but I want my points, god damn it.

Just got done with my studio overview. It's not the 'midterm', but more like a progress check of our work thus far with past projects--from foundation drawings to our recent charcoal works.
I have to say, I still hate charcoal =____= it gets everywhere. But I can manipulate the shading in a way that is better than graphite. The vine charcoal is a worse pain in my ass, though =A= it's so soft, and so...it's like if soot were made into a pencil. Dark, but when you wipe it, it almost completely goes away...regular charcoal is a little more solid than that...
Ugh, whatever. I have an A- in the class. Fine by me! My main headache is drawing a god damn self-portrait with charcoal.
If it were anyone else, I would feel better about drawing it. But god damn. =A= I hate my face so much. Just....why. Why is THAT the midterm project? Fuck...

I hate it.

Anyway, I'm hoping that things will die down after this week of chaos long enough so I can see what elf-chan wants to do (I'm calling her that because the name I thought that was hers is her name in Skyrim...which sounded hella elvish, and she's smol, so, elf-chan).
Is it sad that I miss her? And it's only been a single date?
God I miss those eyes. I won't be shutting up about it anytime soon, neither xD
I'll be trying to write about something, and...I can't stop thinking about her.
the professor asked us to close our eyes so we can focus better on imagery, and he was reading from some Buddhist passage about serenity...there was a part in there about when the author felt peace in looking over the hillside of the monastry where they were residing in. 
I imagined what it maybe could have been like. The spice of wet earth and rock, the jade grass whimsically growing and swaying...about the same color as her eyes, and suddenly my vision blurred and I began to recall when we were stopping in for a soda and how I was looking at every inch of her face as she was checking something on her phone to show me. The curl of a smile, and how she smiles from her eyes when she's not laughing.

I need to stop.

It hasn't even been that long, and I hardly see her as it is, but my god.
Maybe this is what "right" feels like? Or maybe it was heatstroke. it's hot as balls out here.

*ruffles my hair* >____< !!!

I gotta see her again.

Payday is around the corner, maybe I'll take her out and we can have ice cream or something. And swap more stories like we did before, haha.

Ahhh...yeah. okay, closing here.


1) do you know what you want to be for halloween?
2) what new Disney sequels are you excited for?
3) um...damn, I don't know (haha). Ask me anything :)
  • Mood: Distracted
  • Listening to: Ed Sheeran's albums
  • Reading: Lumberjanes/ Harley Quinn New 52's
  • Watching: Steven Universe
  • Playing: the sass game
  • Eating: souls of the damned
  • Drinking: water
.....yeah, okay.

I think I'm reverting back into the "I don't know what I want" arc of my life, because I'm finding myself in a clockwork lifestyle again.
Get up.
Go to school.
Study.
Work.
Sleep.
Repeat.

My desire to see friends is diminishing...which I know can't be good, so I'll have to make a greater effort to see them when I can.
The group cosplay for Halloween should do the trick. I'm going to be the Wendy to my friends' Mabel and Dipper from Gravity Falls. If that doesn't work out, I can get some closet cosplay thrown together to be Bill Cypher.

Anyway, despite the Halloween plans and trying to scrape together something to distract me from feeling shitty....I'm having some conflict with women right now.
I'm not entirely sure how it happened, really. So I'll be brief...

I was messaging three women. NOT at the same time, of course. But it was an introductory "get to know you" conversation.
one after one, they stopped talking/ responding. So, okay, that's cool--I wont pry or anything. I don't want to be that one that pesters a lady like "hey, are we still cool for talking and stuff?"
after the third conversation drop, I shrugged it off and thought "well, new friends are nice, too." but got wrapped up in Biology and it became a thought in the back of my mind rather than the forefront and focus of my social life.

I got the idea to talk to one of them, thinking "well, she mentioned she liked doing this." and thought we could have a hang out thing together.
In that same week, the other two decided to get back to me after leaving such scarce messages.
"text me *gives number*" "what's a good time for you to _____?"
....um??;;
I didn't know what to do, so I spoke to a close friend about it. Feeling guilty that I was still in my "what do I want" slump--the last thing I want to do is waste someone's time.
Apparently, that's the dating game. You meet people, see if you like them, of you slide right personality-wise, and later decide if you like the "us" idea.
....I mean I guess that makes sense. It sounds strange typing that out when it seems obvious.

One woman I spent an evening with was really quite wonderful. She was witty, majored in gender studies, a proud feminist, loves ethics and ice cream. and cuddling.
....but a bit hyper, and I can't read her sarcasm. Which I'm fine with sarcasm, as I can be that way too, but I don't know her well enough to actually get what she means. Is that petty? At the point I don't really know anymore. But I DO know she's a wonderful soul, but I don't feel a deeper connection that simply "friend". We agree on a lot of the same things, but "it" isn't there.

Another woman I met was new in town, and looking for friends. And obviously a potential date. We both like movies, nights in with a movie, popcorn, talking. It was nice. She was really shy, and mentioned a few times that she's never dated another woman, as it's mostly been men....which opened up a huge conversation about gender and orientation/identity and her asking me questions about "being gay". I welcome educated discussions, so that was no problem. But there were some things she was saying that reminded me way too much of this other "new to the gay" situation I was in and...well...didn't want to risk repeating history. She was a sweetie, but much like before, I didn't feel a connection.

....at this point, I wondered if I even belonged on the dating scene.
Or maybe I'm actually more dysfunctional than I thought.
There's NOTHING wrong with these women, I thought maybe it was me just being stupid again.

Then I met with the third woman, who was also new to the area. We went for a walk along the concho, and started talking about our favorite things:
-fandoms!
-RWBY
-various anime

...actually, we were just talking about nerdy shit the entire time, haha. "various anime" indeed. It was mostly yuri.
We came upon a garden neither of us knew was there, and walked right through it. Coming up over the bridge...eventually making it back to where we started from.
She mentioned before the walk she has to be somewhere at 6:00, and I didn't know how far or where, so I was trying to be conscientious of time.
We came back to our vehicles, stood around and kept talking...then of course the break where we know we need to go. I thought to ask her if she'd care to go somewhere else, but knew she had to go.
Before I could ask, I heard her say "you, um...want to grab a soda?"
....it's honestly a first. I know how little it is, and it probably comes off as ridiculous, but it was refreshing to hear that she was the one who asked.
It was such an amazing evening. So casual. And couldn't stop staring into her eyes. Which sounds really tacky and probably strange, too. But she has the most beautiful eyes I've seen. I had to remind myself not to stare. She might think there's something wrong with me xD haha. 

...it ended on a good note. We were making each other laugh, relating to a lot of awkward moments, she likes puns! and musicals.
....every woman I meet loves musicals.
I love Wicked, I liked Bridge to Terabithia (howeverthefuck it's spelled), The Lion King, The Sound of Music...
but my god! Lol it's like a sure fire winner. "Hey, you wanna see a musical?"
I still refuse to see Les Miz. Will not do it. Sorry. I'm sure it's good, but I can't do it.
nope....
nope.

Though something tells me, if she so invites me or if I'm going to go with her, I wouldn't give much of a damn.
...I don't want to say it.
I first want to know how this pans out. So I'm holding my breath on this one.

My next hurdle is establishing a "friend" field with the other two. And I'd like to do it in person, because through a text seems so...uncaring :/ 
I'm trying to do right.

...this is going to end abruptly (hahaha), so I shall mark it with the usual three questions.


1) was there ever someone in your life where you couldn't stop looking at their eyes?
2) What musicals do you like or have been to?
3) Are you ready for RWBY season three? BECAUSE I AM FUCKING STOKED. 
  • Mood: Eager
  • Listening to: Ed Sheeran's albums
  • Reading: Lumberjanes
  • Watching: Carmilla s2/ OITNB s3/ Walking Dead s4/ ALOTOFSHIT
  • Playing: the sass game
  • Eating: souls of the damned
  • Drinking: water
Guess who has a date next month? *smirk*
I um...yeah, haha. I technically met her on campus during dead week at a meet and greet. BUUUT I guess that part slipped my mind.
Let me back up by saying that...okay, I live in a small town now, right? tiny, conservative, Texas town. So of course the dating pool is a bit on the dry side and everyone is basically hiding. *shrug* it's hard to be out in those kinds of places. Because of that, I caved and decided to go through with what my friends have been telling me: online dating. I was really turned off by it, because you don't know who's online. Or rather, what kind of people will be there or who you'll end up talking to. So I was a bit apprehensive about it.
But in two weeks, I got notifications from people who have a certain percentage of "match". it's rub by match, and "enemy"...so you can see who you'd get along with better based off of what you answered in the questionnaires. I was scoping it out, looking at who's around in town...but then got mildly disgusted with it. I mean what the hell, these are PEOPLE. I shouldn't be online looking at them like I'm on ebay--who the fuck does that? I let it go for another week, and then thought to just take down the profile. But then, I noticed there were things in my inbox...messages from people saying "hey there!" and the like. It was a strange feeling knowing that there's people interested in you o___o;;Like just when you think "I'm so fucking broken and awkward, who the hell would take interest in me?! e___e;;;"
It was a bit of a confidence booster...I guess that kept my interested in replying to these people. All four of them were really sweet, but I didn't feel a connection with any of them outside of "friend". I thought, once again, "here I go, pretending I can feel." I want a relationship--I do, but sometimes I think it's a confidence thing. I don't know. I'm afraid I wont meet someone who understands me, which probably sounds a little adolescent to say, but if it's one thing being single this long has taught me...it's that I was able to reflect on all the wrong things I did in my last relationships/encounters with women. Awkward small talk, mainly. Who wants to be around that?

oh shit--anyway. Um, I DID meet her in person but she didn't look like her photo. As in, she wore make-up? I guess? She's cute either way. She messaged me back saying "don't I know you? Did we meet at the pride project's meet and greet?"
most people do a fly by when that sort of organization meets up....showing up for a minute, long enough to grab a cookie and see who's gay and then leave.
BUT SHE REMEMBERD ME, MAN.
I had a flashback, thinking "we...met?" and I remembered not talking to hardly anyone (as my throat was sore and scratchy Dx) and eating the best damn oatmeal raisin cookie I ever had in my life.
....with her standing next to me. XD damn it.

IT JUST SO HAPPENS, she's visiting family in Monument. Which is maybe twenty minutes away from where I am currently visiting.
We have so much in common, it's insane. And I'm scrambling for ideas on where to take her when she comes over next month. We're both super excited, and it's very promising! But I'm not going to count my chickens just yet. Last time I did that, I was delusional and didn't see the signs that it just wasn't going to work. BUT THIS TIME....

...I think I may even feel something. At first I wasn't sure, but I await her replies on my phone with such anticipation--the feeling I had whenever Bee used to text me. Staying up until midnight to carry on conversation, and yet never saying "good morning" or "goodnight" because we just reply right to the last topic we were talking about.
...Is that...? I don't know. I'm happy when I get a reply. And....yeah.

things are looking up. the world really does feel fresher when you know someone's happy to see you, and is just as excited to meet you as you are to meet them c:

What doesn't help me (?) is that I discovered this song:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdapsI…

Which is so fucking sweet I can't stand it. XD
I refuse to jump the gun, but...with every reply and passing day...I feel my faith building. :) and THAT is a new feeling.

Pardon my corniness. It's unlike me. But when I see this much potential building, I can't help but stutter or ramble on the keyboard. OTL ;;

*shrug* if this works, man...just, damn. :)


er, yeah. I'm off to go watch The Babadook (again).
with my phone on standby next to me.
hey, you never know.

ummm.....yes.

1) Have you seen The Babadook? Because you should. If you have Netflix or something.
2) Which Ruby Rose do you prefer? From RWBY or OITNB?
3) Are you watching Carmilla? That's another good one.
  • Mood: Apprehensive
  • Listening to: "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + The Machines
  • Reading: Gifted and Drafted
  • Watching: Carmilla season two
  • Playing: the sass game
  • Eating: vegan food
  • Drinking: wine
I think I'm getting the hang of this vegan thing. It's been a few days.

So anyway, I forgot what my password was for this site, haha. I wanted to update some things before summer, but got busy with packing the quince stuff. x.x naturally, everything fell on the back burner.
again.
I had an epiphany as I was laying on the floor a few nights ago and remembered what it was. Not that I have much to say...though logging into dA these days makes me cringe, as it's NOT what it used to be e____e
These days--at least with internet, anyway--I've mostly been on tumblr or facebook. My snapchat has crashed AGAIN so...sorry about that. I'm thinking of getting rid of it, but then I wouldn't know what bri would be up to if I just got rid of it orz
Anyway, um...damn. I don't even remember what's news anymore, since it's been so long since my last entry.
The school's art and literary magazine accepted two of my poems, I successfully dyed my bangs blue thanks to bee coming over to help, and I'm currently being dragged all over town in search of something formal to wear. You know, something that doesn't look like it was made from an old lady's couch....or the old lady's clothes.
*slump* why do I have to be so tall?
Shoes for women, after size 10, are nothing but clogs (is that what they call them?), birkenstocks, cleats, and sneakers. Don't get me wrong, sneakers are fine, but it's not something you'd wear to a formal event.

*rubs face* hnnnnn....I hate shopping. It's so depressing.
Unless I'm buying books or more practical clothes.
If I had it my way I'd wear my black Italian loafers, black slacks, a nice blue button-down shirts, and a black ladies vest--just to jazz it up a bit for Friday evening.
But seeing as how I can't find ANY of that, we're going to have to settle with...well, anything, at this point.

At least I wont be in the court. That's the best part thus far.
I can't think of any other 'news', really. Other than I'm missing AKON in Dallas. But hey, maybe if I got time and a way to get up there, I'll go to Pride Fest in Denver with some friends.
...yeah, that would make up for all of this, I guess.
If anyone needs me, I'll be dressed to the 9's over at the Wyndam Grande Hotel in downtown for this damn party. *tired*

Hm.

1) If you could wear anything to a formal event and FOUND what you wanted....what would it be?
2) I feel like traveling overseas....where would you care to go/ do there?
3) May I have this dance?
  • Mood: Distracted
  • Listening to: Ed Sheeran's albums
  • Reading: Lumberjanes/ Harley Quinn New 52's
  • Watching: Steven Universe
  • Playing: the sass game
  • Eating: souls of the damned
  • Drinking: water
Dead Week is finals week, which won't be until December. For now, it's undead week. The part of the year where mid terms are upon (some of) us.
I'm not in any freshmen classes, really...except for a writing class I need for my major. Everything else is a regular "test two" and not much of a huge deal.
....For example, I have a spanish test on friday, and a biology test that same morning. And tomorrow? a three page paper and four poems to turn in. I have the poems taken care of, and I have about two pages for the paper without referencing a scholarly article (it's optional, but I'm using it to enhance my opinion and get background info on the author). I'm probably making the paper harder than it is, but I want my points, god damn it.

Just got done with my studio overview. It's not the 'midterm', but more like a progress check of our work thus far with past projects--from foundation drawings to our recent charcoal works.
I have to say, I still hate charcoal =____= it gets everywhere. But I can manipulate the shading in a way that is better than graphite. The vine charcoal is a worse pain in my ass, though =A= it's so soft, and so...it's like if soot were made into a pencil. Dark, but when you wipe it, it almost completely goes away...regular charcoal is a little more solid than that...
Ugh, whatever. I have an A- in the class. Fine by me! My main headache is drawing a god damn self-portrait with charcoal.
If it were anyone else, I would feel better about drawing it. But god damn. =A= I hate my face so much. Just....why. Why is THAT the midterm project? Fuck...

I hate it.

Anyway, I'm hoping that things will die down after this week of chaos long enough so I can see what elf-chan wants to do (I'm calling her that because the name I thought that was hers is her name in Skyrim...which sounded hella elvish, and she's smol, so, elf-chan).
Is it sad that I miss her? And it's only been a single date?
God I miss those eyes. I won't be shutting up about it anytime soon, neither xD
I'll be trying to write about something, and...I can't stop thinking about her.
the professor asked us to close our eyes so we can focus better on imagery, and he was reading from some Buddhist passage about serenity...there was a part in there about when the author felt peace in looking over the hillside of the monastry where they were residing in. 
I imagined what it maybe could have been like. The spice of wet earth and rock, the jade grass whimsically growing and swaying...about the same color as her eyes, and suddenly my vision blurred and I began to recall when we were stopping in for a soda and how I was looking at every inch of her face as she was checking something on her phone to show me. The curl of a smile, and how she smiles from her eyes when she's not laughing.

I need to stop.

It hasn't even been that long, and I hardly see her as it is, but my god.
Maybe this is what "right" feels like? Or maybe it was heatstroke. it's hot as balls out here.

*ruffles my hair* >____< !!!

I gotta see her again.

Payday is around the corner, maybe I'll take her out and we can have ice cream or something. And swap more stories like we did before, haha.

Ahhh...yeah. okay, closing here.


1) do you know what you want to be for halloween?
2) what new Disney sequels are you excited for?
3) um...damn, I don't know (haha). Ask me anything :)

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:iconmekc95:
mekc95 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015  Student General Artist
KISA, I am going to be drawing some awesome new versions of Moete/Yuki/Kuki/Michael here soon, and would very much like to have you preview them before i post them on this site, They are going to be their 'Echo Unlimited' forms, I'll explain Echo force in one of the drawings when i post it, but its pretty awesome.
Reply
:icondarkangelkisa:
DarkAngelKisa Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015
That's one of my favorite poses XD *thumbs up*
and okay! I'll try. I've got a lot on my plate right now with school and having to write three different papers o___o;; and two midterms coming up.
Reply
:iconmekc95:
mekc95 Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015  Student General Artist
Dear jesus that sounds like a. . .Absolutely fun time! Like a spring vacation that just slapped you in the face with excitement and happiness :D

Haha jk but anyways, YES i shall deffinately be awaiting them, and take your time, I never liked rushed art anyways.
Reply
:icondarkangelkisa:
DarkAngelKisa Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
*laughing with tears in my eyes* 8D ;;;:
Reply
:iconkansho-bakuya:
Kansho-Bakuya Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks very much for the fave!!! Dance! 
Reply
:iconretroredtd:
RetroRedTD Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Student General Artist
My apologies dear Kisa, but it appears I am a stubborn Gryffindor.
Reply
:icondarkangelkisa:
DarkAngelKisa Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
:? what happened?
Reply
:iconretroredtd:
RetroRedTD Featured By Owner May 7, 2014  Student General Artist
found a detailed test and got Gryffindor. Pretty spot on actually:
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
Gryffindor's cardinal traits are bravery, pride, stubbornness and impulsiveness. Most people in the house of Gryffindor will be extroverted. (Remember, introversion is different than being shy: you can be a shy extrovert.) Gryffindors gain energy and life by being around people, grain strength from friends and enjoy working with those close to them. However, they are also emotionally volatile and can experience a wide range of feelings in a short amount of time, from unbridled happiness to deep depression to unrestrained rage. They are less emotionally stable than some of the other houses (such as Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff); Gryffindors are also impulsive. They're also generally good-hearted and trusting, and for the most part like people at first sight unless they are given a reason not to. Gryffindors are Prideful, bad at taking criticism and easilyget into conflicts with others—this is the main trait that would bring their overall level of agreeableness from high to average.
A Gryffindor's prideful nature coupled with their sense of justice and stubborn behavior causes them to be extremely set in their ways. They have a difficult time backing down from a fight or admitting that they are wrong. It's also very hard for them to get over a bad first impression or change their opinion on someone.
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:iconarianod:
Arianod Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave! :boogie:
Reply
:icondarkangelkisa:
DarkAngelKisa Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
no problem!
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