Guess who has a date next month? *smirk*
I um...yeah, haha. I technically met her on campus during dead week at a meet and greet. BUUUT I guess that part slipped my mind.
Let me back up by saying that...okay, I live in a small town now, right? tiny, conservative, Texas town. So of course the dating pool is a bit on the dry side and everyone is basically hiding. *shrug* it's hard to be out in those kinds of places. Because of that, I caved and decided to go through with what my friends have been telling me: online dating. I was really turned off by it, because you don't know who's online. Or rather, what kind of people will be there or who you'll end up talking to. So I was a bit apprehensive about it.
But in two weeks, I got notifications from people who have a certain percentage of "match". it's rub by match, and "enemy"...so you can see who you'd get along with better based off of what you answered in the questionnaires. I was scoping it out, looking at who's around in town...but then got mildly disgusted with it. I mean what the hell, these are PEOPLE. I shouldn't be online looking at them like I'm on ebay--who the fuck does that? I let it go for another week, and then thought to just take down the profile. But then, I noticed there were things in my inbox...messages from people saying "hey there!" and the like. It was a strange feeling knowing that there's people interested in you o___o;;Like just when you think "I'm so fucking broken and awkward, who the hell would take interest in me?! e___e;;;"
It was a bit of a confidence booster...I guess that kept my interested in replying to these people. All four of them were really sweet, but I didn't feel a connection with any of them outside of "friend". I thought, once again, "here I go, pretending I can feel." I want a relationship--I do, but sometimes I think it's a confidence thing. I don't know. I'm afraid I wont meet someone who understands me, which probably sounds a little adolescent to say, but if it's one thing being single this long has taught me...it's that I was able to reflect on all the wrong things I did in my last relationships/encounters with women. Awkward small talk, mainly. Who wants to be around that?
oh shit--anyway. Um, I DID meet her in person but she didn't look like her photo. As in, she wore make-up? I guess? She's cute either way. She messaged me back saying "don't I know you? Did we meet at the pride project's meet and greet?"
most people do a fly by when that sort of organization meets up....showing up for a minute, long enough to grab a cookie and see who's gay and then leave.
BUT SHE REMEMBERD ME, MAN.
I had a flashback, thinking "we...met?" and I remembered not talking to hardly anyone (as my throat was sore and scratchy Dx) and eating the best damn oatmeal raisin cookie I ever had in my life.
....with her standing next to me. XD damn it.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS, she's visiting family in Monument. Which is maybe twenty minutes away from where I am currently visiting.
We have so much in common, it's insane. And I'm scrambling for ideas on where to take her when she comes over next month. We're both super excited, and it's very promising! But I'm not going to count my chickens just yet. Last time I did that, I was delusional and didn't see the signs that it just wasn't going to work. BUT THIS TIME....
...I think I may even feel something. At first I wasn't sure, but I await her replies on my phone with such anticipation--the feeling I had whenever Bee used to text me. Staying up until midnight to carry on conversation, and yet never saying "good morning" or "goodnight" because we just reply right to the last topic we were talking about.
...Is that...? I don't know. I'm happy when I get a reply. And....yeah.
things are looking up. the world really does feel fresher when you know someone's happy to see you, and is just as excited to meet you as you are to meet them c:
What doesn't help me (?) is that I discovered this song:www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdapsI…
Which is so fucking sweet I can't stand it. XD
I refuse to jump the gun, but...with every reply and passing day...I feel my faith building.
and THAT is a new feeling.
Pardon my corniness. It's unlike me. But when I see this much potential building, I can't help but stutter or ramble on the keyboard. OTL ;;
*shrug* if this works, man...just, damn.
er, yeah. I'm off to go watch The Babadook (again).
with my phone on standby next to me.
hey, you never know.
1) Have you seen The Babadook? Because you should. If you have Netflix or something.
2) Which Ruby Rose do you prefer? From RWBY or OITNB?
3) Are you watching Carmilla? That's another good one.